Retro Spins: Johnny Hates Jazz - Turn Back The Clock

Johnny Hates Jazz
Turn Back the Clock

The stinkyness continues at Retro Spins with today's blah of an entry, Johnny Hates Jazz - Turn Back the Clock. Granted, most of you are probably asking right now, "What is a Johnny Hates Jazz?" They weren't exactly a big act in January of 1988 when they released their first album - Which just so happens to be Turn Back the Clock.

They managed to hit the charts back in March of '88 with Shattered Dreams. The song was so popular it made it all the way up to the number two spot before starting to gradually fall off the charts over the following couple months. When Shattered Dreams disappeared from the charts, I Don't Want to Be A Hero charted. How? I have no clue. It's an awful song. Miraculously it made it to the low thirties before dropping off the charts.

The sad part about all of this is that the album starts out great. Of course, the first song also just so happens to be Shattered Dreams. It then goes into Heart of Gold, which coincidentally is the second of only two songs which went onto my IPOD. I honestly was really excited to hear what was coming next and that's when it all went wrong. From there, the tempo slams on the brakes and the album drones on with ballad after ballad. So awful.

Look, I'm all for a ballad here and there. Some of them can be great - Hello, Aerosmith's Angel, REO Speedwagon's Keep on Loving You, The Cure's Love Song, Pat Benatar's Promises in the Dark. Heck, even Bette Midler's The Rose. When done right a ballad can be enjoyable.

Unfortunately, Johnny Hates Jazz doesn't do it right. None of the songs stand out and they all just seem to drone on and on.

Sorry, but I'll take their one hit and the second song which somehow managed to make the cut. The rest? Pass!

On a bright note, I've hit a milestone in my Retro Spin posts. With the write up of this album, I've hit at least one album from each year of the 1980's. For those of you who haven't noticed, you can search the Retro Spin posts by year on the sidebar.

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  1. this one is truly a stinker .I got my driver's license in March of 1988 and I was listening to a lot of radio in the car. Shattered Dreams was in heavy rotation at that point. I liked the song so I bought the album on cassette (my first ever cassette player was in my car) Needless to say this one made it to the floor behind the passenger seat pretty quickly and was left there till the car was junked.

    1. Great story, man. Was literally picturing the cassette in my head with a shoe print on it and a bunch of that all too familiar "car trash" which randomly collects in back seats on top of it.

      Glad to see I'm not the only one who didn't like the album.

  2. I remember Shattered Dreams.That song was all over the radio when I was a kid.I had to youtube the rest of their stuff and It sounds like something you'd hear In the background of a Cory Haim teenie bopper flick.While I love the 80's vibe they give off,the songs are just no good.I also never knew the name of this band until now.You learn something new everyday!

  3. Had to YouTube it to remember the song, but yeah - one hit wonder. Classic 80s. Best decade ever.