Surviving The Coronavirus...Maybe...Hopefully...I Don't Know

I've never before been mandated to work from home, stay indoors and avoid people at all costs, so I must say, despite the circumstances, these are interesting times. Crucial to survival is not only the ability to stay feed, watered, clothed and with a roof over one's head, but also to have the fortitude mentally to not go crazy, or freak out on loved ones who may reside under the same roof with you, and last, but not least, avoid getting sick.

Because of this, I've come up with my own game plan to stay away from death's doorstep. For those of you interested in my plan, keep reading. For those of you not, well, thanks for stopping by. Now, before I really get into it, I have to state clearly for all of those out there, this article, while there is truth to it, it's intended for entertainment purposes only. Don't try this at home.

INTRODUCTION

As I've heard it said in the Boy Scouts, "Be prepared!" Okay, I've never been in the Scouts, but I've seen one on TV. It certainly seems like sound advice.

PHASE I: EATIN' AND DRINKIN'


While I don't suspect water sources will be contaminated or shut off, I am a fan of bottled water. What I'm not a fan of is how it, toilet paper, bread, tissues and now meats have disappeared off of store shelves. Fortunately, for me, this isn't a problem.

When I first heard people were starting to go nuts, I went to not one, not two, not even three stores, but six or seven. I stocked up on a ton of supplies. Mind you, this wasn't because I was necessarily worried about the virus. Rather, it was more so because I was being reactive to all the nut jobs who were, that were buying everything that wasn't nailed down. I felt I needed to get something, lest I be left with no option to get anything.

It's because of this, while all the infected people are still running around scraping for scraps, I'm able to hole up at this point, not worrying about where I'm going to find my next can of Spaghetti-O's and cup of coffee. I just wish I had bought more than coffee and canned pasta.

PHASE II: CLEAN UP ISLE YOU

Same story as above, different array of supplies. While these weren't as abundant as some food items, I'm well equipped to sit this one out on the toilet chewing on Asprin to my heart's content.

What surprises me most of all is how people have bought every roll of toilet paper they could find. As if there were no other alternatives to cleaning one's behind. Like I said above, I don't see water sources being cut off, and even then, baby wipes work just as well. Of course, there's also the last result - From what I heard from Eddie Murphy in the 80's, rabbits will work too.

PHASE III: THIS IS MY BOOMSTICK

You know all those people who chastised you over the years asking, "Why do you need so many guns?" Well, consider right here and now at this point in time the answer.

As far as I'm concerned, this is the equivalent of a zombie apocalypse. Treat everyone as if they've been bitten. If you're not in the door before it closes, you're dead to me. Everyone is a liability and don't trust anyone. Nobody in, nobody out.

Get my point?

Bottom line is this, I'm not expecting any visitors, so don't come a-knockin'.

PHASE IV: IDLE HANDS ARE THE DEVIL'S WORKSHOP

Mental health is crucial. Because of this, one has to keep themselves occupied. This is why I went to my local comic shop and purchased a ton of comics. Not only will bagging, boarding, photographing, posting and organizing take me a ton of time, but so too will reading them.

Well, that and working. I just received the news that my job is considered "essential". While I'm still confined to working from home, this will at least take care of eight to ten hours of my day. Beats sitting idle, and keeps a flow of income coming in.

FINAL THOUGHTS

While I make light of my own circumstances and general preparedness, in all seriousness, I hope all of you reading are prepared. It's going to be a struggle for many out there. The lack of food and general necessities is becoming more and more apparent every day. Coupled with businesses shutting down and people being laid off, it's going to be an incredibly difficult time for a lot of individuals and families. Not to mention how in all of this we all have to ensure we stay safe and avoid getting sick. If you have the means, reach out to someone you know, or a neighbor you don't, just to see if there's something you can do to help them. Let's all work together to ensure we get through this...while maintaining a six foot minimum distance between each other.