Retro Spins: Beastie Boys - Licensed To Ill

Okay, I have to take a deep breath and mentally prepare myself for this one. I'm not expecting much from Beastie Boys' Licensed To Ill. Rap really isn't my thing, and even if it was, I don't know that it would be this type. Okay...Let's go.

It starts out making me tap my toes, but quickly feels like a wall of noise when the "singing" starts. Okay, it's admittedly lost me by the one minute mark, but I'm going to keep going. Seriously, why are they yelling every word they say? It's a total assault on the senses.

Painfully making my way to track four, I started to notice a reoccurring theme going on. Why do the members of the group keep introducing themselves? How many times did I have to hear variations of, "I'm Mike D"? Are these guys that big a bunch of burnouts that they would forget who they were if they didn't keep shouting it out?

Speaking of shouting, these guys started to remind me of those Youtube instant karma videos. You know, the ones where someone is running their mouth all loud and obnoxiously only to walk into a pole, wall, or someone's fist. Sadly, none of those ever happened and the noise continued.

It was because of this consistent agony that I was honestly caught off guard when the goofy sounding, Girls started. It was actually mildly entertaining. Somewhat funny too, in a Weird Al Yankovic kind of way. Perhaps the Beastie Boys should focus on this kind of music instead. It's far more entertaining.

Unfortunately we were right back to the excessive volume, but at least with songs I knew from the 80's - (You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Party!), No Sleep To Brooklyn and eventually Brass Monkey.

Yeah...No...Beastie Boys just isn't going to work for me. It's not my thing, it's not going to be my thing.

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