The Dirty Dozen - My Top Twelve Albums Of 1983


I expected 1983 to be a lot easier then it actually was to compile a top twelve list. I thought, "Oh, this is a classic year for 80's music. There's bound to be an abundance of great albums." Well, songs, yes. Albums...Not really. Out of all of these, there's really only three on the list that I'd actually listen to from start to finish, and ironically, those aren't in the top five.

Kicking off the list of honorable mentions is Big Country's The Crossing. When it came to this one, I really wanted it to be in the top twelve, but there ended up being so many albums that it just kept getting voted further and further down the list until it wasn't.

Mike Oldfield's Crisis didn't make the cut because while it has songs on it that I really like (and I mean a lot), there's only a couple. It just wasn't justifiable to be in the top twelve.


Monte Video And The Cassettes self titled album also isn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination. However, there was a two fold factor which ultimately led it to being included in the mentions. The first, as I've said many times, is the nostalgic memories of hearing it on my sister's records as kids, and the second being that I actually made contact with the artist a few years back, and he gifted to me the MP3's before I tracked down the actual album.

Last up is the Star Wars: Return Of The Jedi soundtrack. This was one I played often as a kid when I owned the cassette. However, at the end of the day, this isn't an album I'm just going to put on and listen to. While I appreciate a good movie score, I do tend to prefer my music to have lyrics.


I went back and forth multiple times on number twelve. This spot initially held the above mentioned Big Country album, but was ultimately taken over by Metallica's Kill 'Em All. I will be the first person to admit that I don't listen to the band these days. However, I would be remiss to ignore that they were a big part of my high school years. Back in the day when I first got the CD, it was given to me by a buddy of mine, which only added to the importance of it. Coupled with the fact that I played it repeatedly from that point on, and I simply have to give it a nod of respect.


Is Huey Lewis And The News' Sports all that Patrick Bateman wants you to believe it is? No, not for me. However, it certainly has a list of solid tracks on it that not only fed the airwaves of the 80's, but catapulted the band to success.


Despite his storied career, An Innocent Man gave Billy Joel just his second number one hit, he's only had three. The Piano Man crafted a love letter to his soon to be bride Christie Brinkley, inviting the world into that moment in time with him. The end result was Joel's second biggest selling album to date.


I actually heard In 3-D before learning about "Weird Al" Yankovic's self titled debut. Personally, I don't think this one gets the love it deserves. While it doesn't showcase his best work, there are definitely ones on here that are among my personal favorites. I also like the heavily detailed drawn cover which features aspects of all the songs encompassed on the record.


If it weren't for the fact that I don't want to hear these songs often, Flashdance would be an album I could listen to from start to finish. It packs a wallop with the hits, and then continues to keep one interested for the rest, which I suppose is part of the reason this isn't further down the list. It's just not something I'm going to play everyday, and truthfully, would probably skip past most of them when they came around my shuffle.


Cyndi Lauper's She's So Unusual is like a perfect snapshot of the times. Quirky, fun, and different. From it's bright cover showcasing her dancing down a sidewalk you can already tell she's not only unusual, but that she just wants to have fun. This is the type of album you bought back in the day based on the cover, if you'd never heard anything from it. Back when the artwork mattered. The benefit here was that the album itself also delivered hit after hit. Unfortunately, what hinders it is the duds that are also mixed in.


It's both interesting and hard to imagine that Break-Out was the Pointer Sister's tenth studio album before they finally hit mainstream success. There's no doubt in my mind that this wasn't aided by the box office smash, Beverly Hills Cop, which showcased the song Neutron Dance, also included on the album. Personally, I also like the added bonus of the CD pressing, which includes a remixed I'm So Excited, which was featured on their previous album in its original form.


Had you told me in 1983 that David Bowie had a long career prior to his album, Let's Dance, I would have looked at you like you had three heads. It's always funny to me how as a kid you don't have a working knowledge of the full history of artists, only feeling like they came into existence the moment you heard them. That's happened to me so many times. With that said, my introduction to Bowie with Let's Dance, is also the peak that I gauge all his other work on. The album is fantastic.


When Freddie Mercury states that your band, or specifically, your frontman, is one to keep an eye on, you listen. Unfortunately, Freddie wasn't necessarily right on that one. While Culture Club certainly made an impact with their breakthrough, Colour By Numbers, as we all know, Boy George soon went downhill from drug abuse, take the band with him. Still, if you told me Colour By Numbers didn't have solid hits, I'd simply tell you that you were wrong.


It's kind of an extension of Flashdance, and even includes her song from the soundtrack. However, Irene Cara's What A Feeling, the album, also brings with it a solid setlist. It's been criticized that Cara only serves as a mouthpiece for Giorgio Moroder, but frankly, who cares? Good music is good music, regardless of who wrote it, and who's performing. You'll see more of that coming up when I dare to put Milli Vanilli on my list.


A couple songs hinder Lionel Richie's Can't Slow Down from being labeled a perfect one for me, but man, I sure do dig most of it. In looking at the cover, I daresay that even if it was perfect, I probably wouldn't put it on wall. It's kind of boring with Richie just sitting in a chair in a random empty room. Good thing the music makes up for that falter.


Madonna came out swinging with her self titled debut, delivering instant classic hits, Holiday, Everybody, Borderline, Lucky Star, and others, solidifying instantaneously that she was here to stay. Coupled with her "unique" image, and stage presence, one couldn't help but notice her. Even if you hated her songs, you knew who Madonna was, and this album was just the tip of the iceberg to come.


In looking through all of 1983, I think there are only two albums which I would consider for my wall. While they're not perfect, what they do have is character, and enough hits to back them up. Those would be Cyndi Lauper's She's So Unusual, and "Weird Al" Yankovic's self titled debut.

Though I initially wanted my wall to be "perfect" albums, what I'm coming to realize is that, 1) those are hard to find, in terms of albums that actually are great from start to finish, and 2) at the end of the day, while I want iconic albums, these are also essentially going to serve as wall art. As such, I also want things that pop, and are interesting to look at.

I may need to pivot and reassess the goal, which makes it all the more a good thing that I've refrained from buying many albums just yet. Yes, there's been a few I've already grabbed, but I'm confident those are ones I'm going to want hung up.

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