Wednesday, February 7, 2018


"Show me sand the floor. Big circles. Sand the floor. Sand the floor."

"Now show me wax on, wax off. Concentrate. Look my eye."

"Show me paint the fence. Up, down. Look eye! Always look eye!"

"Show me paint the house. Side, side. Lock wrist."

"Look eye. Always look eye!"

And with that, Mr. Miyagi taught Daniel Larusso the art of karate. Of course, all of this would only come to be as a result of Daniel all but stalking Johnny's ex-girlfriend, and then proceeding to pick a fight with him.

After losing said fight, Daniel would sadistically seek opportunities to embarrass Johnny in front of everyone - Even going so far as to assault him at a school function.

Left with no choice but to defend himself, Johnny would find himself at the merciless hands of the brutal Mr. Miyagi - Daniel's neighbor. With a lust for violence, Miyagi took it upon himself to train Daniel to fight in an effort to help him harass and torment Johnny more.

It was because of this, Johnny would need to seek the help of his mentor and teacher, John Kreese - an honored war veteran. Kreese would tutor Johnny in the art of karate to help the boy defend himself - Teaching him the only way to ensure Daniel's attacks stopped would be to, "Strike hard, strike first, no mercy." Something Daniel would surely do if given the chance.

Angry that Johnny would have the nerve to seek help, Miyagi and Daniel would challenge the young boy to a fight at a local tournament. This would serve two purposes. The first to feed Daniel's cravings to feel Johnny's jaw on his knuckles again. The second - The perfect opportunity to humiliate Johnny one final time. This time in front of a full audience.

Despite being reminded numerous times by the referee of the rules of the tournament, Daniel decided it was time to put Johnny down once and for all as he sent an illegal kick to the young boy's face.

Distracted by Mr. Miyagi who was causing a scene on the sidelines, the only thing the ref turned around in time to see was the young boy hit the mat, concluding the tournament in Daniel's favor.

Miyagi's plan worked and the evil Daniel swooped up his trophy to the roaring boos of the confused crowd. Johnny would die later in the hospital from a fractured skull.

Feeling pumped about his newfound power, Daniel decided it was time to take his bullying global. The plan - Humiliate one boy on every continent.

His next victim - The young Chozen, selected for no other reason than Daniel found it amusing to walk around saying, "I've Chozen you!"

Rekindled by his own rival, Miyagi and Daniel proceeded up and down the coast of Okinawa humiliating Chozen and his uncle, Sato, at every opportunity.

No joke was too funny to them.

No location was off limits as Daniel proved taking low blows at a local dance club.

Okinawa provided the perfect background for the Miyagi / Larusso humiliation train.

When Chozen finally had as much as he could take, Daniel used the opportunity of a local town festival to unleash brutal slaps to Chozen's face to the beat of drums.

Despite defeating and humiliating Chozen, Daniel wasn't ready to stop. In the final moments, he unleashed his new Miyagi training...

...The honking of the nose!

Years later, the All Valley Tournament Committee would review footage from Daniel's first fight and call upon him to either give his trophy back or fight again. Because he had died, the Cobra Khi would present a new challenger - Mike Barnes. Under the tutelage of Johnny's old Sensei, the boy would attempt to honor his fallen comrade. But this is a story for another time.

For those seeking the art of humiliation from Miyagi, he has since gone on to produce a popular set of scrolls - Available wherever books are sold.

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  1. Ha! I've heard this interpretation before -- at least for the first part.

    Good stuff, hope you do more like this. =)

    1. This one was a lot of fun to do. Definitely looking for was to incorporate humor into future posts of my personal stuff.



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