The Toy Box

Comics Corner: Secret Wars II 3

Title: Secret Wars II
Issue Number: 3
Release Date: September 1985

Highlights

First appearance of Toots, Vinnie Corbo, Millie Shuriff, Laverne "Smurfette" Lacy, Chulo, Eliot, Luigi, Mushnik, Gina, and Beyonder in his form as Frank
An officer approaches a sleeping Beyonder leaning against a street sign, and tells him to show him some ID, instead, Beyonder shows him his realm, sending the cop stumbling off
Beyonder comes across a lady of the night, and when she propositions him to get a room, informing him he needs money, he creates a gold bar out of thin air, which startles her
Beyonder vanishes into thin air, reappearing at the hotel he was told to get a room at, and does indeed do so
Beyonder is awoken by a gangster (Vinnie), with his bodyguard (Smurfette), his bookkeeper (Millie), Chulo (the pimp), and his girl Toots, which is the same woman Beyonder met earlier
Vinnie asks Beyonder about the gold bar he made, and then asks him to tell him his story, Beyonder does
Reference is made to Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars, Secret Wars II 1, 2, and Transformers 9
Vinnie tells Beyonder he can help him with his quest, but tells him to first get some sleep
Vinnie posts guards at the door to his room, and leaves Toots to take care of him
The next day, Vinnie and Toots take Beyonder out, and teach him the joys of eating, and then, they put him in a bed with a lot of girls to learn...other stuff
Vinne gets Beyonder a new set of clothes, making reference to both Duran Duran and ZZ Top, and then later on to Michael Jackson - Sweet!
Beyonder helps Vinnie by dealing with a rival gang, and then "cleaning" his ladies of the night of their "ailments"
Vinnie also gets Beyonder to make him a small pile of gold, cure the Dyslexia of his daughter, and make his fat wife thin
Vinnie teaches Beyonder about gambling, and how winning all the time takes the fun out of it
Beyonder is soon living a life of luxury, while doing dirty work for Vinnie
Beyonder runs into Toots, and when he leaves, she says to herself that she loves him
Vinnie tells Beyonder he's taught him all he can, and it's time for him to get out on his own, and see what he can do
Beyonder gets fat, but when he senses the girls surrounding him don't like it, he dissolves it, and puts his muscle back in place
Beyonder visits Kingpin, and using his powers, takes over, demanding 90% of the Kingpin's take, to which he can't resist agreeing to
Not satisfied, Beyonder's next stop is the White House, where he takes over the country
Beyonder feels this still isn't enough, and sets his sights on taking over the entire world, taking over every creature, bacteria, and molecule - save for one
Molecule Man is unaffected by Beyonder's control, and even removes his grasp from his girlfriend, Volcana
Despite his control over (almost) everything, Beyonder remains desirable of something, but doesn't know what
Beyonder visits Vinnie, and asks why he still deisres when he has everything, but Vinnie can't help him
Beyonder seeks out Toots, and releases her from his control, she immediately recognizes him, kisses him, and thanks him, telling him that because of what he last said to her, she went and got a respectable job as a waitress, and is working on a new life
Beyonder decides to release the rest of the world of his controlling grasp, removing from their memories anything about what he had done
Beyonder goes to Avengers headquarters to inquire about the feeling of gratitude from Toots, only to be told the Avengers are battling the Skrulls
Beyonder teleports to them, but we don't see the battle, instead, he is instantly back in New York stating that he really messed that up
Beyonder decides his next to stop is to see Matt Murdock

Low Points

It's a charming story, but not one with any sort of action, or real stakes
To get the full story, one would need to next read Daredevil 223, Hulk 312, and Avengers 260, the latter fills in the gaps of the battle with the Skrull noted above
No Spider-Man

Oddities

None

Rating (based on a 1 through 5 Stans grading system)

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Retro Spins: U2 - Rattle And Hum

For their final entry into the 80's, U2 set to task to create a hybrid live / studio album, which in turn would be accompanied by a rockumentary film. While the band intended the project to be a tribute to many of the legacy artists who came before them, the band were accused by some of trying to place themselves amongst the ranks of such artists.

In total, nine studio tracks would be recorded, and mixed within them would be live songs recorded from several shows, including Denver's McNichols Sports Arena, Tempe, Arizona's Sun Devil Stadium, "Save the Yuppie Free Concert" in San Francisco, and Madison Square Garden, New York. For the film, the Denver shows were represented in black and white, while Arizona in color.

Upon its release, critics were split, and those against it were not kind. While some stated U2 were making a deliberate and pretentious attempt at rock and roll renown. Things didn't get much better, or nicer from there. From the perspective of multiple reviewers, it was called a mess, disjointed, stylistically confused, lacking cohesion, U2's self-celebrated ascension into pop history books, flat out awful, and probably the best for last, stated that Rattle And Hum just prattles and numbs.

To be fair, not everyone hated it. However, as it usually goes, the most critical are the loudest. The critics also didn't hinder album sales, with Rattle And Hum becoming another platinum seller for the band. It would also become the first double album to reach number one in the USA since Bruce Springsteen's The River in 1980 and would also reach number one in the UK and Australia.

As for me, I have to agree with the harsher critics. Specifically, in that it feels like there's no direction to the album. It's consistent jumping back and forth between live tracks and studio cuts makes it difficult to get into a rhythm with it all. Perhaps the better approach would have been to relegate the studio tracks to one platter, with the live portions being on another. This separation would have perhaps helped everything flow better.

I won't pan it fully, though. It's not without its hits, such as Desire, and Angel Of Harlem. However, wading through almost seventy-five minutes of music to find seven minutes of good stuff isn't really conducive or appealing.

Overall, the biggest fault I have with Rattle And Hum is that it's just too bloated, and unfocused. Again, separating the live from the studio may have helped to fix this. I don't know, it just feels like a poor note for U2 to end the 80's on, but ultimately, it's no surprise. Like I said from the very beginning, I was never a big fan, or I suppose fan at all, of them.

Obviously, my opinion on the subject isn't the end all be all, and U2's popularity only continued to soar. They released six albums between 1991 and 2009, all of them becoming multiplatinum sellers. It was only with 2014's Songs of Innocence, that sales would vastly plummet. However, we were also in a digital era at this point, so it's difficult to say that their popularity waned, so much as the general population was consuming music differently.

U2 continues to tour, showing no signs of slowing down. As of this writing, November 2025, the band was also working on material for a new studio album, tentatively slated for 2026.

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Disclaimer: They Toy Box does not endorse or contribute to piracy. Retro Spins posts are intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. None of the music discussed here is available for sale, downloading or distribution.

Comics Corner: The Amazing Spider-Man 268

Title: The Amazing Spider-Man
Issue Number: 268
Release Date: September 1985

Highlights

Cover connects to Web Of Spider-Man 6
First appearance of Congressman Jason Black, Conrad Hauser, and Judy
First appearance of the Puerto Rico Trench
Reference is made to Secret Wars II 2, Web Of Spider-Man 6, and The Amazing Spider-Man 266
Spider-Man feels guilty for taking some of the gold for himself
Charles Anderson informs the military operative in charge of the men onsite that everyone who saw the gold, except Spider-Man, has been taken for debriefing, and won't know what they saw when the government's done with them
The military operative in charge is on Duke Hauser, leader of G.I. Joe, and those are his men working on the job
Skystrikers escort the ships loaded with gold out to a familiar looking aircraft carrier, where the gold is then dumped into the Atlantic
Despite being a secret disposal operation, Kingpin knows where the gold is being dumped, and he intends to get his fair share
Kingpin's men take over one of the ships returning to shore for another haul of gold
Spider-Man gets on board, just as the last load is being taken out, and so does Charles Anderson
Anderson realizes the Kingpin's men have taken over the ship, and when Spider-Man realizes he's not in on it, he takes out the Kingpin's men
G.I. Joe see the battle from the skies, and call for backup
When backup arrives, the battle is over, and when they inquire about Spider-Man, Anderson tells them it's not possible that he could have been onboard, even though he knows he was, and demands that aspect be stricken from all reports
Anderson salutes Spider-Man from a distance
Cliffhanger ending with Firelord travelling across the galaxy towards Earth

Low Points